Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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