Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Quick, to the slutcave!
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize