my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
