In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I hope mine doesn't look like that
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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