Texts From Last Night

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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today

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  (770): I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today http://tfl.nu/te6h
  Replies (41) Good night (5600) Bad night (629)
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  (607): View more from New York

  You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me

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  (607): You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me http://tfl.nu/ry9s
  Replies (35) Good night (30290) Bad night (1700)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths

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  (843): woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths http://tfl.nu/oqok
  Replies (23) Good night (1045) Bad night (4324)
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  (516): View more from New York

  i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.

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  (516): i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik. http://tfl.nu/oo49
  Replies (14) Good night (4316) Bad night (1068)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth

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  (541): You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth http://tfl.nu/plwz
  Replies (47) Good night (1362) Bad night (5805)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.

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  (605): dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce. http://tfl.nu/vye8
  Replies (20) Good night (4449) Bad night (1018)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety

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  (715): He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety http://tfl.nu/vghu
  Replies (4) Good night (2189) Bad night (1131)
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  (213): View more from California

  I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.

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  (213): I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing. http://tfl.nu/4hkr
  Replies (1) Good night (900) Bad night (2480)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?

  (707): View more from California

  ...did you eat that brownie?

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  (423): Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic? (707): ...did you eat that brownie? http://tfl.nu/j241
  Replies (2) Good night (2433) Bad night (616)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.

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  (651): dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk. http://tfl.nu/gquq
  Replies (5) Good night (1613) Bad night (650)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob

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  (919): I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob http://tfl.nu/wd4x
  Replies (10) Good night (1992) Bad night (746)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.

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  (203): We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed. http://tfl.nu/i2gt
  Replies (1) Good night (1127) Bad night (466)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.

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  (914): So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank. http://tfl.nu/0iga
  Replies (4) Good night (925) Bad night (739)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?

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  (401): Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer? http://tfl.nu/q3x6
  Replies (4) Good night (795) Bad night (421)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?

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  (914): wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night? http://tfl.nu/0iz6
  Replies (2) Good night (391) Bad night (701)

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