Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.