A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Screwed.edu
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
