No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
