I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
