so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
you would pick up someone in the library
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
