Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
im holly from the hills drunk
I just gift wrapped bread.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
