let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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