Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
