Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
