so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
