Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
