you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
