No awkward lesbian experiences without me
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
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