Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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