how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize