And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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