i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
