Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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