Christians are straight up FREAKS
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
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