Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
