so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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