There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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