dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
