You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Randomize
