You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
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