Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize