5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
