So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
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