the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
