I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
