I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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