i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
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We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
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Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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