how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
