i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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