Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
