my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize