He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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