My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
