Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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