Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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