any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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