i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize