Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
