im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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