dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
