Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
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