She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
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He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
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I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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