But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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