I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
