so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize