Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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