It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
