we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
