Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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