I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
