She's JV to your varsity
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize