i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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