Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
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